Voicemail

[mustbeawitch]

Is this how it--oh, I think it's--Yes, hello, you have reached the "voice mail box" of Miss Lydia Bennet. Please leave your particulars and I shall return your call just as soon as I have finished figuring out how this thing works. Thank you.

Comments

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"No," Arden said quickly. "I don't, uh. Do that. Ever."

Stupid doctors and their stupid tests that return the data: very much not human.

"Do you have time...? I mean, I don't know if you have time right now or over the next few days or something, but...I'd really like to talk. Face to face. Because you're my friend and you're really important to me and I'm really fucking up this whole phone call, but in my defense I'm pretty fucked up and I think I lost control of this sentence."

[mustbeawitch]

"Arden!" Lydia exclaimed in shock. "Arden, I truly do think you should see a doctor!" It sounded as if she had taken leave of her senses, using such language. "Did you perhaps hit your head?"

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

Well, she was definitely out of them enough to forget the rule not to swear in front of Lydia.

"No, I..." How to explain this without going into everything? Because she wanted to, but Lydia deserved the explanation and apology face to face. "I got sorta poisoned."

You know, how like Kitty was sorta pregnant!

[mustbeawitch]

"POISONED?!" Lydia shrieked. Well, if Arden's head hadn't already hurt, it surely did now. "How on Earth did you get poisoned, and why wouldn't you summon a doctor?!" Or at least a crab. Did the crab provide medical care?

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

You know, one would almost hope.

"Ow," Arden said, wincing and holding the phone away until Lydia was done abusing italics loudly. "My legal guardian found me? It's a long story."

[mustbeawitch]

Those italics deserved everything they got.

"Your--legal guardian?" Lydia sputtered. Well, of course Arden had a legal guardian! She wasn't twenty-one or married yet! (What?) She just hadn't heard her mention one before, and, "I don't understand how that leads to you being poisoned." Oh, there were the italics again. (Was Arden an heiress, that her guardian had tried to kill her for her money? No, that was Lydia's imagination running away with her.) "I--" Pause. Deep breath. "You just need to rest up, dearest, and we can talk once you're feeling better." That was the reasonable thing to do, right?

The police! Had she called the police? Wait, she lived with the detective-sheriff. Lydia was sure they were already on the case.

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

Well...money had sorta been involved? Ish?

"Okay," Arden said. "But yes. I do wanna talk to you when I'm a little bit better." And could face the coming clean part of it without immediately dissolving into a wreck. "Thank you for understanding, Lydia."

[mustbeawitch]

That would be good, because Lydia didn't handle people dissolving into a wreck well at all! Just look at how heartless she was to the privacy-invading porg! "Of course we'll talk when you're feeling better," Lydia promised her. "Is Kamala there? Does she know that you're ill?"

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"She is," Arden promised, and elided over Cal being there, too. "She was one of the people the house woke up when it realized that I was--" skipping over the 'd' word there "--that I wasn't doing very well. Her parents too. I'm not alone."

Now. If only there was a lesson here for her to learn...

[mustbeawitch]

"Oh, good," Lydia said in relief. "Her parents will know what to do." Thank God for actual capable adults who weren't your legal guardian that poisoned you, was she right, Arden?

Also, ew, learning lessons. Who wanted to do that?

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

Not an urban fantasy heroine, that was for sure!

"I think they bought out T&C's stock of Gatorade," she said, not that Lydia had any idea what that was. And then she caught herself yawning. "I think I'm going to rest a little more now. I'm still pretty wrecked. But I'll call you when I'm feeling a little better?"

And they could have a nice talk about why Arden was recovering on the roof!

[mustbeawitch]

Arden was talking nonsense again, so she definitely needed to get back to her rest! Rest was important while you were recovering from poisoning, probably. "All right," Lydia said in her best soothing tones. "We'll talk later, when you're feeling better."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Thank you, Lydia," Arden murmured. "Thank you for being my friend."

Hope that would last after Arden admitted all the lying and stuff.

"Gonna go now. Bye."

And then she was falling back asleep for a little while longer.